By Shelby Horton
My roommates and I are together a lot. We see each other every waking moment so I don’t have much privacy.
But I’m starting to get annoyed because I have sexual needs that cannot be fulfilled if they are with me every day. How do I tell them that I need some private time, and they need to leave me alone?
Dear desperate to be alone,
This is a common problem among college students who live with their roommates.
You will be spending a lot of time together.
However, privacy is a need because it gives you time to unwind, do the things you enjoy, and gratify some sexual needs.
Your roommate probably has those needs too, so the best thing to do is sit down and have an open conversation about it.
It’s not like you’re saying you don’t like your roommates, or you don’t like having them around.
You’re just expressing a need for some “me” time.
There is nothing wrong with that; you can work out times when your roommate won’t be home so you can use those moments to enjoy yourself.
I come from a conservative family who has taught me that if I have sex before marriage, I’ll go to hell. But lately I’ve been questioning my beliefs, since I’ve started dating. Do you think that people will go to hell for having sex before marriage?
Dear religious conflict,
What matters in this situation is what you believe in and what makes you feel most comfortable.
In some religions, it is a sacred thing that can only be done with one partner. In others, it’s an expression of love that should be shared with multiple lovers, and in some, it is just a desire of the flesh that should be ignored.
Your moral compass is what makes you decide what is good for you when it comes sex.
Before you take any course of action, maybe read up on whatever holy book you were taught from.
Ask questions and come to your own conclusions, based on the research you choose.
I have a problem; I have some nerve damage on my penis due to an incident that happened to me when I was a kid. As a result I can’t really feel much when my girlfriends have sex with me.
They get really frustrated and upset because I don’t react to what they do. How can I make sex more enjoyable for me?
Go to your doctor and discuss ways that can help repair the damage that has been caused and learn what your options are.
As I am not a doctor, there is not much I can help you with since I know little about this type of injury.
But in response to the girlfriend issue, when you find a partner you’re interested in dating and you mutually decide to have a sexual relationship, be honest about your condition so she will have an understanding of what to expect, but also let her know you are actively trying to find a solution.
Should sex be a private matter for each individual person, or should sex be an open topic that can freely be discussed?
Dear open or shut,
Sex is a touchy subject in general because it involves a very intimate part of our lives.
Your personal sex life should be kept private; it should be a conversation between you and your chosen partner about what goes on in the bedroom.
Sex, in general, should still be an open topic in an educational way.
Teaching young adults how to properly put on a condom, or the dangers of having unprotected sex is important.
All young adults should be well informed before entering the dating world and the sex scene.