Real guys should wear Wranglers, not skinnies

By Hannah Wallace

Dear Hannah, Why does college cost so much?

Dear Broke,

College is so expensive because this is America and not Europe.

American tax dollars have to go somewhere and basically that means our dollars go to state correctional facilities and K-12 public learning institutions.

The only thing that keeps me coming back and spending more money that I don’t have on college is the saying, “It will eventually pay off.”

That is, unless I drop out. But hey, I’ve made it this far, so why quit now, right?

Dear Hannah, What are your thoughts on skinny jeans?

Dear fashion beast,

I think skinny jeans are OK on girls but when guys wear them, it kind of freaks me out.

In my opinion, skinny jeans are meant for girls and not for guys.

I have to question the makeup of boys who wear skinny jeans because I can’t help but labeling them as girly and sensitive individuals.

Where I come from, boys wear Wranglers and Levis, not girly looking jeans.

Dear Hannah, Why do guys sag their pants?

Dear Disturbed,

They sag their pants because they have no class whatsoever and they are just a bunch of wanna be thugs.

They think that we all want to see their choice of underwear when in all reality I think that wearing Elmo or Smurfs boxers at the age of 20 is a little concerning.

In prison, sagging your pants means you are single and ready to mingle. If this is true, then most of our male students must be gay.

Hannah, What do you think about being nominated for homecoming?

Dear lovely fan,

I am honored beyond words! I have always known that I am better than everyone else but never in a million years did I see this coming.

This nomination really just adds to the fact that I am the best thing since sliced bread.

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who voted for me; you all obviously have wonderful taste.

On this note, I’ll leave you with my life motto that ever so gratefully helped me get nominated, “Live loud, party hard and always strive to be better.

“No one ever liked to be in second place.

“We all know that first place is where it’s at.” #YOLO

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